i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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