Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
