what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
