It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize