Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
