one two three fourrrrnication!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We need to get me chipped asap
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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