My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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