I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
