My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
