had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
