I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
