i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
