ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
