you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
