all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
