After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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