Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The police scanner is talking about you again....
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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