dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
