My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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