My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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