i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
