I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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