Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
