Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
