Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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