I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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