i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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