her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
People in love make me want to vomit
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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