you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Everyone says I win the strip club
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
