Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
