i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
