I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
