yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
