I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
