Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish you could order shots online.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
