I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
