would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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