Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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