Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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