Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
