"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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