Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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