i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
