THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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