I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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