He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
