What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
