I think i peed on brittanys purse
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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