Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The beer is more important than you right now.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
