you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
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