dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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