Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
